The Thoughts of Wally Masterson

Dear friend, you are no doubt aware that your current being is the culmination of every thought and experience that has past your way since time began. Indeed, there is a fairly obvious musical influence¹ in my recent post "Back to this God thing...". Well, dear reader, every profound thought of mine is culminating in this article. Indeed, the entire history of the universe culminates in this... full... stop.
No, this full stop.
No, hang on, this full stop.
No, this one.
Here.
Full.
Stop.

Can you spot the obvious futility of this flawed way of thinking? Well, good for you, it is nice to know I am not alone in this universe of deep thought.

¹For those of you who are too stupid to spot this, the song is Bicycle Race by Queen.

Labels: philosophy

Consider the following list:

• God
  
• Allah
  
• Zeus
  
• Thor
  
• The Raelian elohim
  
• Peter Pan
  
• Superman
  
• Wally Masterson
  
• Clissy Funkhouser
  

Which is the odd one out? Ponder a while, then read on...
The odd one out is Clissy Funkhouser¹. All others are fictitious characters.
Now consider this. Would you enter into a lifetime's devotion with any of these characters? (Devotion to Wally Masterson is acceptable - it is up to you whether you harbour any devotion towards Clissy Funkhouser, CPA. She looks like a bit of a hotty) The notion is clearly ridiculous. Yet this is how millions of "sentient" beings choose to live their lives. God help us².

Consider the strange case of Clissy Funkhouser. She claims in her biography that "The bedrock of my life is God". Now substitute other names from my list into her claim, and see if any make sense:

• The bedrock of my life is Peter Pan.
  
• The bedrock of my life is Superman.
  
• The bedrock of my life is Wally Masterson.
  
• The bedrock of my life is Clissy Funkhouser.
  

Clearly, the only possible bedrock is Clissy Funkhouser herself. Would you claim anything less ethereal to be your bedrock?

Yours in grumpiness, Wally.


¹The veracity of Clissy Funkhouser's existence can be ascertained here.
²No, the irony is not lost on me.

Labels: god

My ponderings lead me to ask: "If history repeats, is history a straight line or a circle"? Those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. This implies a circular motif. On the other hand, those that do learn from history and do not repeat it are travelling in a straight line. One world, multiple histories? This smacks highly of Hugh Everett's Many-worlds interpretation. Perhaps this constitutes an (albeit brief) proof of Mr. Everett's postulation? Only time will tell.

Footnote: Of course "circle" and "straight line" are not to be taken literally in a Euclidean sense. History's path is bound to have some deviation from these perfect abstract shapes.

Labels: philosophy